Good morning, good afternoon or whatever it is. I don’t even know anymore. Winter/January blues has made my brain turn to mush.
Anyway, I have decided to pen this article because arguing with me is the equivalent of arguing with a rusty spoon.
I will just sit there like a fruitless Metallic-y food shovel.
This may be the reason why I rarely get into arguments. It could also be due to the fact that I have this weird thing where angry people make me laugh.
Moving on, my sister is an incredibly passionate person and yesterday she decided to take me under her wing and train me on what to ask myself before making any comments on the rare occasion that someone annoys me enough to provoke a reaction.
I like to think of my sister’s advice as budget self help with a spark of genius.
I grinned my way through the whole conversation so I hope you love it as much as I did. Enjoy my little earthlings.
“Look, you need to ask yourself the following questions if someone pisses you off. Ready?
1. Do you want to look like them? If you want to match their c**ntiness then go for it.
2. You need to ask yourself, are you in a shitty mood or did they genuinely act like a twat? are you over reacting?
3. Are you prepared to lose your job? (I enjoyed this one especially)
4. Do you need this person. Or could you not give a shite if they weren’t there? Because if you might need them at some point then keep your gob shut for now.
5. Are they older than you? if they are, then let it go.
6. Are they younger than you? if they are then they don’t know jack anyway so let it go.
7. What would your mum say?
8. Are you too old for your dad to come running to save your backside if it all goes to shit?
9. Have you really got the energy? And do you really give a shit? The answer is usually no.”