Girls just wanna have suds.

Today I did something that really made me feel like a twat. Obviously, this isn’t out of the ordinary for me but it feels pretty moronic even by my standards.

I spent £20 on a bar of soap (it’s not even funny) I don’t even use soap (Wait. That sounds like I don’t shower?) What I mean to say is I don’t use soap bars.

It is Chanel though to be fair. NO STOP IT. I’m not going to be that person who justifies their ridiculous purchases, although it may already be too late.

You see I have this problem and I think they call it eBay? I have only recently set up an account and it is the worst/best decision I have ever made.

I will elaborate. I like to pride myself on not being a flashy person but every so often I do things that make me want to go outside in the rain and sit in the shed for 10 minutes as punishment.

Today I did one of those things. I was in the living room at my mum’s house soaking up that Sunday feeling whilst browsing through lists of items that I don’t need.

Here is how I know that I have a serious issue. When bidding and as the time runs out, my brain often fails to even remember what item I am trying to get and instead focuses on winning. That’s what happened with the soap. Once I had won, I felt an instant sense of elation followed by a dramatic plummet into feeling like a toss pot. And that is what I do.

Soon after the traumatic incident, I informed my mother of my stupidity.

In a bid to help me realise how ridiculous I am she turned round and said “YOU’VE JUST SPENT £20 ON A BAR OF SOAP.” She was trying to conceal her laughter at the time so failed at her attempt to sound dramatic.

However, she followed this up with “How many people could you have fed with that money?” and although it was a bit of a buzzkill, she is right.

There is a Swedish proverb that says “He who buys what he does not need steals from himself.” And as it turns out, I am The Thomas Crown Affair standard. I am literally The HamBurglar of my own life.

I have lost count of the amount of pointless junk that I have bought this past week alone, and I suppose the purpose of this article is to say, it really isn’t worth it. £20 may not seem like a lot. But it is to someone in the world. I really need to remind myself of that sometimes.

“Every time you spend money, you’re casting a vote for the kind of world you want.”

– Anna Lappe

SOAP UPDATE: It arrived today and it’s the best thing I’ve ever smelt. Thumbs up.

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