28 text posts that will make you want to befriend everyone on Tumblr: Second edition

“Fun drinking game: Take a shot of water every couple of hours to make sure that you are healthy and hydrated.” – bombing

“With great power comes a great electricity bill.” – makeflo

“Beats by Dr Phil” – martinseptim

“EVERYONE GET ON THE GROUND THIS IS A ROBBERY *tries to take pen chained to the desk*” – pemsylvania

“American but Amerishouldn’t.” – christastrophe

“How do you get fish high? Seaweed.” – shouldnt

“‘Don’t I get a hug?’ Most cringeworthy line.” – frankoceanfanclub

“R.I.P boiled water. You will be mist.” – ubercream

“List of things I am handling well currently:

1.” – liberalfartsdegree

“*hears child crying* *Takes birth control.” – cetaceas

“You don’t own a cat? Sorry I can’t come over today I’m busy.”

“‘I HATE HORMONES’ Really? I liked her. I felt that she had an important part to play in Harry Potter.” – deadcyberbitch

“Shout out to all the bugs who stay away from me, you rock. Keep doing what you’re doing guys.” – zackisontumblr

“I hope manners are the next cool trend.” – baracknobama

“Sending your selfies to NASA because you’re a star.” – marlborodiamonds

“Me: *doesn’t hear what you’re saying* Yeah.” – mydogsnokes

“New year. Same acne.” – volcainist

“Why sleep when you can stay up late every night being sad and then feel like shit the next day?” – evolutional

“You know what’s the best weed? When I’m weed you.” – haemus

“You’d think that taking a shell off of a snail would make them faster but it actually makes them sluggish.” – officialtuxedo

“How dare you ignore me when I’ve made 0 attempts to talk to you.” – kobyxgrimm

“Goals for 2015: less upsetti, more spaghetti.” – tigeressss

“If you think that eating healthy is cheap then you either live with your parents or have never actually been to a grocery store.” – ignornatheist

“Screenshots don’t scare me, I know exactly what I said.” – iamwizz

“*Wears the same outfit as yesterday* Vintage.” – esexist

“Where is African America?” – confirmance

“What do you call an artist with a chest infection? Vincent Van Cough.” – just-shower-thoughts

“I swear that if one more adult asks me what I’m going to do with the rest of my life, I’m going to fly into the sun.” – mythrils


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s