28 text posts that will make you want to befriend everyone on Tumblr: Third Edition

“I’m not racist, I love Jack Black” – jesuschristvevo

“‘You don’t have many followers’ Jesus only had 12” – fvming

“*Sniffs air* who unfollowed me?” – lamapalooza

“Why does everyone look so surprised when I say the reason for cutting my hair short is the hot weather, what were you expecting ‘I need to take my father’s place in war and the Chinese army won’t accept women’??? – gelphie

“My last words are probably going to be ‘wait, what?'” – breakingbag

“Who needs April fools? my entire life is a joke” – broaaadbean

“My friend told me how electricity is measured and I was like watt?” – cogging

“Reason for divorce: I asked them what’s up and they said the sky” – toocooltobehipster

“I wonder what war Soulja Boy fought in” – queerpong

“Current emotion: 20% battery” – lameborghini

“‘Where’s my Christian Grey????’ hopefully locked up in prison” – alisonscrown

“My laptop is hotter than I am” – Netflix

“‘I’d date a fan’ doesn’t mean ‘I’d date a 12 year old who knows more about me than I do'” – lifewithoutrory

“If you’re looking for me I’ll be in the trash” – foodchewer

“A bisexual person who is not in a relationship: All bi myself” – wintersbuckyy

“Lmao (laughing my anxiety off)” – gorlt

“Me as a lawyer: kk that was rude.”  – asinglegarbanzobeanonitaliantile

“‘Say hi to your parents for me!’ is the most commonly ignored request” – shouldn’t

“Ever realise how nothing matters and you can just walk out in the middle of class and buy a scone” – nothing-bagel

“It’s 2015 and we still can’t be told whether it’s just the password or username that’s incorrect” – infamousgod

“Even when I’m having fun I’m still bored” – hate

“True love is when your pet comes to your room on its own” – filingsforkili

“I’ll respect your opinion as long as your opinion doesn’t disrespect my existence” – thescenetofsouls

“I envy people that come up with witty comebacks on the spot because I’m gonna need at least a 3 day notice” – alabasterbones

“People who know the next letter of the alphabet without singing the song are terrifying” – benwyatts

“Exchanging grammatically correct emails with adults is the most uncomfortable form of human interaction in existence” – frenchfrycoolguy

“I’m really clueless so please spell out very obviously how you feel in full detail or I will constantly be worrying about how much you hate me” – proctalgia

“I love my wife…..Wifi*” – savingsophie

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