I’ve Been Scrolling Through Urban Dictionary So You Don’t Have To (Again) *Cheesy Wink*

Woggerz? Hope you’re all having a good start to the week yadda yadda.

I’m on dog-sitting duties today so I thought that I’d relax in the garden and scroll through Urban Dictionary whilst Archie tries to chase things that I cant even see (It’s weird when they do that ennit?)

Anyway, here’s a little round up of my favourite words and phrases that I stumbled across.

1. Phrase: Asshole Chair

Definition: The chairs located throughout a store where the unfortunate male who gets roped into shopping with a female companion ends up sitting. This hapless male usually ends up waiting for hours, and often when an important sporting event is on.

2. Phrase: Lie-Fi

Definition: When your phone or tablet indicates that you are connected to a wireless network, however you are still unable to load web pages or use any internet services with your device.

3. Phrase: Desk Staging

Definition: The practice of covering your desk with papers, completed work, and other important-looking papers to give the appearance that you are really busy when really you’re surfing the net, watching YouTube and doing other non-work things.

4. Phrase: Fucking Hell Mate

Definition: Used frequently by people native to the United Kingdom, this is an exclamation that shows feelings of frustration or anger.

5. Phrase: Ivaginary Friend

Definition: An imaginary female that a male lies about having sex with.

6. Word: Poképace

Definition: The zombie like foot speed of Pokémon GO players.

7. Phrase: Other than that, how was the play, Mrs Lincoln?

Definition: A sarcastic phrase meant to downplay the complaint or misfortune of another person, similar to playing the world’s tiniest violin with one’s fingers.

8. Phrase: Where is this coming from?

Definition: An excuse used by shitty people to deny ownership or knowledge of their bad qualities. Can also be used to devalue and avoid change or responsibility over what the other person has said to them. In either case, the speaker feigns surprise at these “new” and “unexpected” things they are being told.

9. Phrase: Drake Effect

Definition: The feelings that get stirred up whenever a Drake R&B song comes on, where you start missing people that you don’t even know.

10. Word: Paratext

Definition: When you send or receive a text that is so long that you need to scroll down.

11. Phrase: Fuck it mountain

Definition: It’s after you realised that you have taken so much shit from people because you are nice. And every time you do something BS, the pile gets bigger and bigger until you have reached the tipping point where you are like fuck this shit I’m out. Then whatever comes your way, you don’t care.

12. Phrase: Pokémon Paranoia

Definition: The suspicion that anyone on their phones outside is playing Pogo.

13. Phrase: Flip-flocks

Definition: The heinous combination of flip-flops and socks. For example: “Dad, please don’t wear your flip-flocks in public.”

14. Phrase: Girlfriend Tax

Definition: The amount of fries taken by your female significant other, after you’ve already asked her if she was hungry but she insisted she didn’t want anything.

15. Phrase: Google Proved

Definition: When you’re trying to prove someone wrong and immediately refer to Google to debunk their theory.

16. Word: Adulting

Definition: To do grown up things and hold responsibilities such as a 9-5 job, a mortgage/rent, a car payment or anything else that makes one think of adults.

2 thoughts on “I’ve Been Scrolling Through Urban Dictionary So You Don’t Have To (Again) *Cheesy Wink*

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