“In three words I can sum up everything I have learned about life: It goes on.” – Robert Frost
I had the following conversation with my friend this morning:
Me: “Nat, I’m penning an article about how to get over someone you never had in the first place. Hit me.”
Nat: “haha let me have a think. I’ll get back to you”
*Few seconds later*
“Grow a pair of balls maybe?”
Why do I feel as though this is a topic that isn’t spoken about enough? Often brushed off as being trivial, immature and a little bit pathetic, moving on from someone that you never dated can be difficult.
At times, I can be such a romantic and although it is something that I have often tried to suppress, I have never been able to do much about it. I remember being a teenager and feeling so sad about all the relationships that don’t happen because people are too scared to tell each other how they feel. Don’t get me wrong, I was never caught up on the idea of finding my prince charming and marriage/children has never been something that I have wanted. But the thought of so many people not expressing how they feel about something really used to get to me.
Having said that, now that I am slightly older, I don’t practice what I preach. I have come to realise that things aren’t always so straightforward.
I find that taking the “try to act like I don’t give a shit whilst internally hoping that they are conjuring up a master plan on how to make the first move” approach is the perfect way to stop yourself from earning a few twat points.
I have been in many a situation where my mind knows it has to move on but my heart is yet to receive the memo but for whatever reason, in life certain relationships just don’t happen.
To anyone reading this that may be going through something similar: In the words of Kenny Powers “listen here you beautiful bitch. I’m about to fuck you up with some truth”. It happens to the best of us. You’re not pathetic. You’re not embarrassing. It is just a shitty situation that we all go through from time to time and if I could reach out, give you a hug and tell you that everything is going to be fine, I would. Because it is. You will look back at this and wonder why you gave it much more thought than it ever deserved.
I thought it might be useful to put together a little list of things to remember when your heart is behaving like a toss pot. Hope this helps:
- No one goes through life without having their heartbroken in some way or another.
- Keep reminding yourself that it’s done. On to the next thing. This isn’t important anymore.
- Listen to music. But don’t listen to anything that reminds you of the poor bastard. I recommend “Somebody kill me” from The Wedding Singer. I’m kidding.
- One day you will wake up and everything will be ok.
- Its cliché but everything happens for a reason. Eventually everything connects. I have never missed out on anything and not received something better in return.
- Do something productive. Stop sitting around like a mong all day and go live your life.
- No one likes a drag. The quicker you realise that life goes on the quicker you can go back to being a legend.
- File your feelings under fuck it, lock that shit up and throw away the key.
Failing that, If you can’t stop thinking about them you can take my sister’s advice and just picture them having a poo. WARNING: we are talking last resort territory here.
She has also “kindly” compiled me a list of reasons why you are fine just as you are:
- You can eat Toblerone in your pants without fear of being judged
- You don’t have to wait for the shower
- The washing machine is always free when you’re single
- You can have the bed and the TV to yourself
- You don’t have to put up with his/her mum turning up to the house uninvited
- No bickering
- You can go out whenever you want and if you don’t want to go out, you don’t have to.
Now go back to eating cereal at 7pm and being cocky about the fact that you don’t have anyone to answer to.
“To love oneself is the beginning of a life long romance.” – Oscar Wilde