“I‘m rebelling against being handed a career, like, ‘you’re the next this; you’re the next that.’ I’m not the next anything, I’m the first me.” – Idris Elba
There’s a part of me that feels really nervous about discussing the things that upset me so openly. Having said that, my blog is teaching me that being open isn’t always a bad thing if it makes someone in a similar position feel less on their own.
Plus, that sense of vulnerability can have this way of making you feel trapped if you don’t push against it.
Depending on your state of mind, someone’s opinion on the way you live your life can affect your mood quite drastically. It could be someone that doesn’t know you very well, a friend, a distant relative, even your own mum. But their opinion doesn’t matter really. Not in the grand scheme of things. It really doesn’t. And it’s not about having any animosity towards anyone, but more about having the confidence in yourself to think “That’s fine. That’s your opinion but it doesn’t necessarily mean that it will work for me. Or that it is even true”.
Someone made a comment about my personal choices recently and I wanted to address it. Like they are for most people, my journal is incredibly personal. However, I thought that this particular entry might be quite useful to anyone in a similar position so I decided to share it.
I’m 26 now and beginning to realise that I am sacrificing a lot in order to reach my goals.
Sacrificing not being able to do things that the majority of my friends can do. Sacrificing not having settled down yet. Sacrificing not having bought my first apartment. I even notice myself sacrificing my own sanity and wonder if it’s all really worth it.
Sometimes, people don’t understand the route that I’ve chosen. At times, not one single person. But then I remind myself. I remind myself that when anything happens. Whether it is good or bad. I get an instant feeling. Right in the pit of my stomach. Something that makes me think “I need to write about that.” and then I continue.”
Actually whilst we’re on this topic, my sister wrote something in my birthday card last week that really helped me to focus on staying in my own lane. It read:
“Always fight for what you believe in. Remember: Moments of doubt are to remind you that you should work harder and not that you’re not good enough. Remember who you are, where you came from and what you’re capable of.”
Peace out champs.